Least Baller Ballers League
Flagrant foul:
The All-American Basketball Alliance announced in a news release Sunday evening that it intends to start its inaugural season in June and hopes Augusta will be one of 12 cities with a team.
“Only players that are natural born United States citizens with both parents of Caucasian race are eligible to play in the league,” the statement said.
Don “Moose” Lewis, the commissioner of the AABA, said the reasoning behind the league’s roster restrictions is not racism.
“There’s nothing hatred about what we’re doing,” he said. “I don’t hate anyone of color. But people of white, American-born citizens are in the minority now. Here’s a league for white players to play fundamental basketball, which they like.”
Lewis said he wants to emphasize fundamental basketball instead of “street-ball” played by “people of color.”
Two problems here:
1. Yes, this is unbelievably racist
2. You know how shitty that league would be? The level of basketball would be a hate crime on the eyes, not just on society.
Besides, they already have an all-white basketball league. It’s called the NCAA. Have you ever seen a Duke game? And seriously, Tyler Hansbrough as the top scorer of all time?
If you’re gonna create an outlandishly racist organization, at least have it be at something white people are good at. Like banking and ruining the economy or making suburban melodrama movies.
