Shorter
If you checked this site earlier tonight:
- You are very bored.
- No, you aren’t crazy — there was in fact a long post up earlier that I have since taken down.
I took the post down because I didn’t want to be a whiny bitch. The previous entry was long, well thought out and pretty moving. But I don’t mean to complain too much, so long story short, I had a bit of a mixed day.
On the positive side of the ledger, the cardiologist appointment went well. He gave me a clean bill of health, with all my new gear working beautifully, in the way that doctors find heart valves cleanly pumping blood beautiful.
I’m also clear to exercise, and biked for 40 minutes tonight. After which I was pretty exhausted. Depressing that one event can destroy stamina it took so long for me to build.
On the not so good side of it all, I’m pretty fucked up in the head. Today was my first day out of the house, and that was scary. I’m scared of future problems and future surgery, because I was told I wouldn’t need it last time, and here I am. And I’m bored and tired and just want to get back to normal.
So yeah, I’m fucked up. I’ll get better eventually, but fuck, it’s not just your body that takes a beating during this thing.
