A Brief Fit of Madness
I woke up early this morning, as has become my custom, and after taking some medicine and eating a muffin top (unwasteful because it was baked and sold only as a top, a violation of Seinfeld law but still delicious), I flipped on Bored to Death On Demand.
I was enjoying the show, when, about 10 minutes in, I started feeling overwhelmingly nauseous. After confirming that I wasn’t gonna puke, I ran upstairs (and by ran I mean slowly stumbled) and got into bed. I felt unbelievably light headed, and my right shoulder, which is all bruised from a tube that was burrowed inside it for the duration of my hospital stay, throbbed with pain. And as that pain spread down my arm, I flopped like a fish in bed, desperate for some miracle cure.
Eventually, I fell asleep. As I often do, I dreamed that I was back in school, this time along with a few of my friends from Brooklyn. We had an essay assignment, and some famous writer was offering to proof read and workshop with each of us for a low, low fee.
A few of my friends, idolizing him because they were supposed to, jumped at the opportunity, drooling at every word he said. As for me?
While I was waiting for my turn, I rearranged the words in my essay so that each first letter in each paragraph, put together, read, “suck my dick”.
Doubt that it’s related, but I woke up and now feel much better.
