Jordan Zakarin

Aha! Now I know why I love Kermit so much! I can totally relate. A puppet, and torn in all directions by pigs and other crazies, when all he wants to do is sit in his bog and sing.

[via jayparkinsonmd]

Sometimes, I think what’s even worse is finding out their asshole parents are doing so.

“Salinger had remarked that he was in this world but not of it. His body is gone but the family hopes that he is still with those he loves, whether they are religious or historical figures, personal friends or fictional characters.”

- Statement from JD Salinger’s literary representatives, upon his death.

RIP, JD. Thanks for making it okay to be an alienated teenager in an all too often phony world.

This guy sends in prank e-mails to the Christian Television network. And they constantly work. No matter how hard the hosts try and say they now get it, they always end up praying for The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air or Rick Astley.

Watch the entire thing. Don’t worry, you won’t go to Hell for it.

“To Democrats, I would remind you that we still have the largest majority in decades, and the people expect us to solve some problems, not run for the hills.  And if the Republican leadership is going to insist that sixty votes in the Senate are required to do any business at all in this town, then the responsibility to govern is now yours as well.  Just saying no to everything may be good short-term politics, but it’s not leadership.  We were sent here to serve our citizens, not our ambitions.”

- Barack Obama, last night’s State of The Union.

I don’t have much to say about the speech — it seemed more of the same: lofty ambitions paired with centrist milquetoast and inadequate ways of getting there, packaged with weighty rhetoric.

But I did like that quote. Not because I think the Republicans are actually going to start working with Democrats now that they have the 41-seat majority; but because at least he called out the ridiculous Dems who insisted that at a 59-vote majority, they clearly were powerless to make change.

I hope it served as a slap at Joe Lieberman, Ben Nelson, Evan Bayh and Blanche Lincoln; a reminder that they have responsibilities beyond serving corporate masters by slowing and watering down the progressive change this country so desperately needs.

Of course, I’m not confident of it; nor am I confident that Obama, despite what seemed a clear understanding of the plight so many in this country face right now, will push to make those corporate Senators change their ways and work for progress.

But maybe this year served as a lesson in political street fighting, and the humor and cockiness the President showed last night is the first sign that he won’t be rolled this year. Only then can the state of our union be as “strong,” as it is yearly proclaimed.

Geek Porn

Saving iObama

Idea: Steve Jobs should totally let President Obama unveil the Apple Tablet during his State of The Union speech tonight.

He can unveil it as a new stimulus package for media and retailers, and healthcare for nerds.

One requirement, though: Joe Lieberman can’t download any books. The app store keeps filibustering him.

So I heard Apple is coming out with this amazing new thing called a “book” today? And they invented a “TV” too? All hail glorious King Steve Jobs!*

*originally texted on my iPhone and transferred to the internet via MacBook Pro via Apple Network router. Ugh I am so cliche.

Teabagged!

So, just hours after I make my Teabagger in Turmoil prediction, it seems the cup is off the saucer. Just as I had hoped, the rank and filers are beginning to feel that itchy corporate feeling on their noses, and they ain’t liking it.

A Tea Party convention billed as the coming together of the grass-roots groups that began sprouting up around the country a year ago is unraveling as sponsors and participants pull out to protest its expense and express concerns about “profiteering.”

The convention’s difficulties highlight the fractiousness of the Tea Party groups, and the considerable suspicions among their members of anything that suggests the establishment.

Well, when you’re led by Dick Armey, a former Republican House Majority Leader and corporate hack that led the charge to undo Glass-Stegall, which was the biggest gift to bankers of all time and helped lead to the gigantic robbery and recession that we now face, you damn better believe that this is really just a corporate, establishment ploy all dressed up in astroturf.

And when you’re supposed to be a group for the un-represented, struggling masses who are just so tired of tone deaf leaders in Washington, this probably comes off as a bit of an insult:

The convention, to be held in Nashville in early February, made a splash by attracting big-name politicians. (Former Gov. Sarah Palin of Alaska is scheduled to deliver the keynote speech.) But some groups have criticized the cost — $549 per ticket and a $9.95 fee, plus hotel and airfare — as out of reach for the average tea partier. And they have balked at Ms. Palin’s speaking fee, which news reports have put at $100,000, a figure that organizers will not confirm or deny.

Yes, an overall cost of about a thousand dollars to attend a convention that bills itself as the economically downtrodden common man’s haven is probably not very feasible for its members, aside from, you know, the hidden lobbyists that really run the show.

Philip Glass, the national director of the National Precinct Alliance, announced late Sunday that “amid growing controversy” around the convention, his organization would no longer participate. His group seeks to take over the Republican Party from the bottom by filling the ranks of local and state parties with grass-roots conservatives, and Mr. Glass had been scheduled to lead workshops on its strategy.

“We are very concerned about the appearance of T.P.N. profiteering and exploitation of the grass-roots movement,” he said in a statement. “We were under the impression that T.P.N. was a nonprofit organization like N.P.A., interested only in uniting and educating Tea Party activists on how to make a real difference in the political arena.”

Mr. Glass said he was also concerned about the role in the convention of groups like Tea Party Express, which has held rallies across the country through two bus tours, and FreedomWorks, a Tea Party umbrella. He called them “Republican National Committee-related groups,” and added, “At best, it creates the appearance of an R.N.C. hijacking; at worst, it is one.”

Well, FreedomWorks is an RNC-backed group — it’s the one run by that former Republican House Majority Leader, Dick Armey.

So what does this mean?

One, a lot fewer opportunities for mass teabagging jokes, which is a shame. But more importantly, perhaps it is the beginning of the unraveling of a movement, just as it seemed to be gaining traction. Hmm, should sound familiar to some Democrats.

But what can we do to take advantage? There are two real options here. One, Democrats can continue on their own pro-corporate path and let Washington languish in hatred for both parties, as populists from both sides suffer the consequences. To be honest, that’s the most likely situation.

Or, starting with President Obama’s State of The Union speech tonight, they can take a decidedly pro-populist tone that brings the angry and disaffected aboard to create a real ruling majority and a new mandate for change.

How can they do that? A few ideas include finishing healthcare with reconciliation that makes it a good bill that people can support, push back harder and harder against the universally hated banks, fight back against the Supreme Court ruling that legalized corporate hijacking of our elections, and work every single goddamn day to bring as many jobs as possible to the desperate people of this nation.

If they do that, November can be a positive time for Democrats, not the lashing they expect. We’re 10 months away from elections, and already Democrats are bracing for big losses. To me, that says they know they’re doing a shit job and people hate them for it, but instead of changing course and making the big changes people demand, they’d rather serve their corporate daddies and suffer the consequences. I’m pretty sure that’s the way it seems nationwide, too.

So those are the two choices. This tea party unraveling gives the Democrats another shot at delivering on their campaign promises and, if only the self-interest appeals to the swamp creatures, hold onto their power. Which will it be?

Yesterday, one or two people at Daily Kos took issue with my essay, saying I seemed a little bit sympathetic to teabaggers. I loathe all that the movement stands for, but I can say that I understand where the teabagger’s anger is coming from. Like us, they feel ignored by their government.

They want it to stop serving special interests, and start serving their interests. Do I think they have the wrong solutions? Yes, 99% of the time. But I think we can find common cause in ending the corporate choke hold on our Democracy, and real progressive ideas always poll well. If we could deliver real healthcare and jobs and hope for the so many people without both right now, I’m pretty sure party allegiances will shift.

In the end, people just want what’s good for their families, what helps them dream bigger and feed kids and send them to college. The little D or R doesn’t matter much, and we need to realize we can create a lasting movement in this country if we fight for progressive principles. I’m not for Obama bi-partisanship, giving up the house for so-called comity that will never actually happen. I believe in reconciliation and fighting and fighting — there’s a difference between Republicans in Washington and the rest of the nation. The ones everywhere else don’t get corporate donations, and if we fight for them, they will fight for us.

So, how do we do this? How do we communicate and work together to deliver the message to our leaders?

There are few finer wits than those carrying Sharpies through subway stations.

*this is okay because Mel blames stuff on my ancestors.

(via Filmdrunk)