February 2010
15 posts
“I’m not Grammy material. I hate that shit. It has nothing to do with rock ‘n’ roll. It only has to do with Hollywood, and it’s jive — a buncha people handin’ each other awards and talkin’ about how they made the best record … There is no best in music.”
- Neil Young, 1987
So Neil finally won one today, but it’s for art direction...
January 2010
52 posts
“Salinger had remarked that he was in this world but not of it. His body is gone but the family hopes that he is still with those he loves, whether they are religious or historical figures, personal friends or fictional characters.”
- Statement from JD Salinger’s literary representatives, upon his death.
RIP, JD. Thanks for making it okay to be an alienated teenager in an all too often...
“To Democrats, I would remind you that we still have the largest majority in decades, and the people expect us to solve some problems, not run for the hills. And if the Republican leadership is going to insist that sixty votes in the Senate are required to do any business at all in this town, then the responsibility to govern is now yours as well. Just saying no to everything may be good...
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Saving iObama
Idea: Steve Jobs should totally let President Obama unveil the Apple Tablet during his State of The Union speech tonight.
He can unveil it as a new stimulus package for media and retailers, and healthcare for nerds.
One requirement, though: Joe Lieberman can’t download any books. The app store keeps filibustering him.
So I heard Apple is coming out with this amazing new thing called a “book” today? And they invented a “TV” too? All hail glorious King Steve Jobs!*
*originally texted on my iPhone and transferred to the internet via MacBook Pro via Apple Network router. Ugh I am so cliche.
Teabagged! →
So, just hours after I make my Teabagger in Turmoil prediction, it seems the cup is off the saucer. Just as I had hoped, the rank and filers are beginning to feel that itchy corporate feeling on their noses, and they ain’t liking it.
A Tea Party convention billed as the coming together of the grass-roots groups that began sprouting up around the country a year ago is unraveling as...
“There are Sour Patch Kids… and Cabbage Patch Kids… What about...”
EJ Dionne: Supreme Court ruling calls for a... →
Going to school in Syracuse gave me an unique perspective on politics. On one side were my liberal, progressive peers, the filmmakers and artists and writers who didn’t worry about someone’s sexuality or religion or race, and, in theory at least because they all grew up comfortably, believed in helping out the poor.
Then there was the rest of the city, crumbling from within years...
This. Exactly this.
“What happened yesterday at the Supreme Court profoundly changes America. Now corporations will have completely unfettered ability to crush any candidacy they don’t like. More than ever, we can see who owns this country. We see what the pillars of the Court have become: a continuation of the pinstripes on the big corporate sleeve. Our ability to fight them is now simply whisked...
Pelosi rules out House passing Senate's... →
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi rejected Thursday any effort to pass the Senate’s version of a health-care reform bill, a decision that leaves President Obama’s most important domestic agenda item in grave jeopardy.
Well, that’s that — what a great day for democracy and progress!
In theory, I’m glad the House is standing up to the bad parts in the Senate bill…...
Supreme Court Rejects Campaign Spending Limits →
Say goodbye to Democracy:
soupsoup:
The Supreme Court has ruled that corporations may spend freely to support or oppose candidates for president and Congress, easing decades-old limits on their participation in federal campaigns. The court on Thursday overturned a 20-year-old ruling that said corporations can be prohibited from using money from their general treasuries to pay for campaign...
WatchConan’s going scorched earth against NBC, burning all that green.
Last night, I was out actually being social, so I missed the live broadcast of The Tonight Show. Of course, I had to watch it, so like EVERY CONAN FAN OVER THE LAST SEVEN MONTHS, I watched on the internet. Get that, NBC? Here’s Conan’s audience, guys. We exist. Check your online stats on The Google.
In any case,...
Least Baller Ballers League →
Flagrant foul:
The All-American Basketball Alliance announced in a news release Sunday evening that it intends to start its inaugural season in June and hopes Augusta will be one of 12 cities with a team.
“Only players that are natural born United States citizens with both parents of Caucasian race are eligible to play in the league,” the statement said.
Don “Moose”...
Man opens bag of Cheese Rings, finds one →
This story is ridiculous enough in itself, a newspaper article about a guy who got just one cheese ring (think doodle, but Australian) in his cheese ring bag. But it ends with just about the greatest quote I have ever heard:
“What you lose on the hurdy-gurdy you pick up on the roundabout.”
I’d give ANYTHING to be able to think of something like that, let alone throw it out...
The Two Post-Massachusetts Options
Last night, as the results poured in from the embarrassment in Massachusetts, my living room TV was of course tuned to Rachel Maddow giving the play-by-play of the “filibuster-proof” majority’s final, decisive teabagging into obscurity.
But I was sitting in my room, reading about Conan and writing and doing anything else but give a shit. Because as smarmy and disingenuous and...
My friend Matt works for an entertainment/gossip magazine as one of the entertainment editors, and one of the best perks of his job is getting transcripts of Jay Leno’s monologue in his email.
He forwarded this to me, because it was just so gosh darn FUNNY that he had to share the joy. From Leno’s monologue tonight:
THE OTHER NIGHT ON “60 MINUTES” THE BEAUTIFUL ACTRESS PENELOPE CRUZ...
Grayson Making Politicians Declare Greed
Alan Grayson is continuing to pull no punches down in DC:
Anticipating a Supreme Court decision that could free corporations to spend unlimited amounts of money on political campaigns, Rep. Alan Grayson (D-Fla.) introduced five bills on Wednesday to choke off the expected flood of corporate cash. ”We are facing a potential threat to our democracy,” Grayson said in an interview with...
Relevant new social satire phrase: “That was so funny I forgot to tweet.”
Of course, I tweeted that. So I suck.
How about:
“That’s so socially relevant and insightful I forgot to tumblr it.”
Yeah?
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It's Over! NBC to Pay Conan $30M →
At least Coco’s hitting NBC where it hurts (no, not the balls — they lost those long ago):
The network has agreed to pay O’Brien $30 million to vacate the 11:35 p.m. “Tonight Show,” individuals involved in the negotiations have told TheWrap.
The deal, which may still be in the process of finalization, could be announced as early as Friday.
The deal came following a...
Weight Watchers floor collapses →
VAXJO, Sweden, Jan. 14 (UPI) — Members of a Swedish Weight Watchers clinic said a floor collapsed from under a group of about 20 dieters participating in a weighing event.
The participants said they were gathered at the Vaxjo clinic Wednesday night to measure the amount of weight they had lost with the help of the program when they heard a loud noise shortly followed by the collapse of...
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The American Earthquake
The response to the horrifically tragic earthquake in Haiti has been fantastic, so far as I can tell. Round the clock coverage on CNN, Twitter-text fundraising bringing in millions of dollars, incessant press conferences from the President. The American see a crisis, and in all our humanity and belief in our supremacy, we have acted swiftly to help the countless victims of this disaster.
But as...
Conan Says Sorry About The Hair; Also, No to 12:05
Conan’s statement:
People of Earth:
In the last few days, I’ve been getting a lot of sympathy calls, and I want to start by making it clear that no one should waste a second feeling sorry for me. For 17 years, I’ve been getting paid to do what I love most and, in a world with real problems, I’ve been absurdly lucky. That said, I’ve been suddenly put in a very public predicament and my...
It's Not McGwire We Should Care About
I don’t really care all that much about Mark McGwire admitting that he did steroids and human growth hormone — he pretty much told us so back at the Congressional hearings in 2005, and anyway, if you saw the transformation his body made, and still believed he was clean, well, you have issues beyond whether some 90’s baseball star was injecting something in his ass.
And to be honest,...
“If my writers knew how to appeal to girls, they wouldn’t be writers.”
- Krusty the Klown, The Simpsons
Republicans Killing Their Constituents →
This is utterly unshocking:
[T]he states most likely to “win” as a result of health care reform are Arkansas, Idaho, Kentucky, North Carolina, Oklahoma, Tennessee, and Utah. All of these states have a relatively high number of uninsured and all are in the bottom half of states in terms of cost under both financing mechanisms.
Since the Civil Rights era, Republicans have tricked their base into...
The Happiest People →
While it’s pretty difficult to measure happiness in any tangible way, in every study and report that attempts to do so, Costa Ricans come out on top.
What sets Costa Rica apart is its remarkable decision in 1949 to dissolve its armed forces and invest instead in education. Increased schooling created a more stable society, less prone to the conflicts that have raged elsewhere in Central...
meghangrace:
Pavement - Gold Soundz
To be the...
Leno To Get Tonight Show Back →
The Jay Leno Show is an epic fail (like no one saw this coming), and it’s going to cost Conan O’Brien his much funnier show:
Jay Leno is going back to his 11:30 PM time slot, and it’s looking like Conan O’Brien is the odd man out … sources tell TMZ.
We’ve learned Jay’s 10:00 PM show will go on hiatus February 1. After the Olympics, Jay will take back...
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Defending Jason Bay
A bit of a delayed reaction on this, but maybe that’s fitting given how long it took for the Mets to sign the free agent left fielder.
I don’t really understand all the criticism of this move, beyond the general anticipation that, because it’s the Mets, if something bad can happen, it will. But beyond general Murphy’s Law, the signing seems to be a natural fit. To wit:
...