October 2009
62 posts
Funtinerary
Normally, I am under no pretense that anyone cares what I’m doing or when I’m doing it. But because you’re here, and apparently interested in my life, or at least in my heart surgery, here’s my upcoming schedule.
Thursday: Last day of coumadin. I will write more on this later. Freedom rings.
Friday: Last day of work. Being shadowed by the girl Gabe is hiring to replace me...
September 2009
13 posts
Oh, hey
So now that I have a growing number of masochistic followers of this site, not everyone here knows me all too well. In fact, most people don’t. So I suppose that I should give people a bit of a better idea of who I am, so that maybe I can influence their decision on whether they should root for me to live or die.
So here are some basics.
I’m 23-years old (b. May 30, 1986). I have two...
In Case of Emergency
At 23-years old going on twelve, my chief responsibility lies in constantly monitoring my own heathen levels of happiness and animal-like grazing needs. I consider myself a good friend, always willing to help a pal out, am politically active and vote my compassion for others, I’ll admit that the comings and goings of my own little world largely dominate my thoughts. Not out of ego, or a...
Brief Flash of Optimism
Until I am whisked into the changing room sex of Gray’s Anatomy or written into the brilliant word play of St. Elsewhere, I will firmly believe that hospitals are the worst places in the world.
I’m no eastern medicine fanatic, nor do I believe the conspiracy theory I was told by a man on the street a few weeks back who claimed pharmaceutical companies had the cure to HIV and were...
Whew, Good Times Are Rolling!
So I’m finally back from the pre-op, after a long wait for five minutes worth of tests. I asked the EKG specialist to take a picture after the test, but apparently they have “rules” that say they can’t do that. Bitch.
Anyways, here is a boring set of pictures I took and posted on Twitter throughout the morning. Kind of gives you an idea of what the whole thing was like....
Waiting and waiting
I must have been naive, or an idiot, to think this pre-op thing would be a quick process.
I did get to meet right away with the surgeon’s assistants, who gave me a detailed chart of all the fun things they have planned for my stay, including all the tubes I’ll have in me the day of surgery. I’ll post the picture, which is on my twitter, when I get to a computer.
Now...
Pre-Gaming
Today, it starts. Today is my pre-op exam, which is to heart surgery as Thanksgiving is to the Holiday season: the official nice and easy start, with enough time to take a breathe before diving into the Christmas/New Year consumerganza.
This may or may not be quite as festive.
I’m not really sure what pre-op entails, to be honest. I must have gone through it back in 2002, the last time I...
Fuck You, But Yes, I'm Lucky
Despite the kind words and encouragement from family and friends, there is absolutely nothing positive to say about my aortic stenosis, or my upcoming surgery.
No, there is nary a glimmer in nearly dying as an infant, limited athletic ability, a giant scar, more surgery in high school, taking life-dependent medication every single day, going through high school and college stone cold sober,...
Going Full Robot
I often joke to friends and complete strangers that I am 1/10th robot, given the metal valve currently clicking away in my chest. It’s only a tiny piece, but I figure an aortic valve is pretty important, so I’m generous with the 10% estimate.
Tonight, I competed in the Robot Monkey World Chimpionship, which involves using remote control monkey robots on wheels to play soccer in a...
For the Greater Good
I really should also add that I’m not just doing this for amusement or some weird web 2.0 ambition — nay, I plan on trying to build awareness, and, gasp, help people.
So if any of you tumblrs or readers otherwise have any spare cash, or can forgo a couple of overpriced drinks, it would be an honor of you could head on over to the American Heart Association, or Columbia University Medial...
I Swear, This Is Real!
First off, thanks to Anthony at SoupSoup for the kind words and recommendation. Dude’s a baller. I guess I should actually explain what my deal is in clear terms, now that I’ve gone viral — which is a terrible term to use in this circumstance, but c’est le vie.
So, here’s my story:
At five weeks old, my mom took me to the doctor because I was crying nonstop. The first...
This Sick Experiment
Well hey there! Your morbid sense of curiosity (or bored at work willingness to click on any link a friend sends you) has led you here, to my self indulgent little heart surgery blog. By reading this, you can reaffirm what a good, solid human being you are! As for me, I’m a relatively healthy 23-year old living in Brooklyn. I bike, wander the city on foot and live in a third floor walkup,...