January 2012
3 posts
Oscar, The Silver-Haired Golden Statuette
As I exacerbated my early on-set arthritis to get all the names of all the Oscar nominees down in a news entry in my customary brainless way, I couldn’t help but get angry. Normally, I take everything I report on with a grain of salt, but something didn’t sit right with me.
My favorite movies of 2011 were “50/50,” “Drive,” “Shame,” and “Young...
Oops, Pt. 2 (But Karl Pilkington!)
So, it turns out I’m very bad at updating my own website. I’ll chalk it up to being a selfless worker with thoughts only on humbly serving my employer (and will in no way acknowledge the contribution of my own laziness to this absence).
Anyway, I got to interview Karl Pilkington, Ricky Gervais’ best friend/punching bag, about the new season of ‘An Idiot Abroad.’...
December 2011
1 post
Oops
Last May, I said I was returning to this space to write an essay a day. Well, I’ve been writing a lot, but only for the place that pays me to do so (aside from half-baked screenplay scribbles, of course). That may make me a sell-out, but I prefer to think of it as taking advantage of an opportunity.
I don’t mean for this to sound like a humblebrag, but my earnestness is one of my...
May 2011
1 post
Interlude Over
I was in the middle of writing some long-winded piece about why I’ve been gone from this space for so long, but largely, I don’t think anyone cares, and anyway, what it boils down to is that I got a job and write a lot elsewhere.
I will say, though, that I have a new goal of writing an essay per day, which I will start tomorrow (of course). So that’s what’s kickstarting...
November 2010
1 post
The VHS of Comedy
Back in New Jersey for the evening, I was talking to my 15-year old brother - he was watching immortal clips from Chappelle’s Show, which was way before his time - when I mentioned the comedy that widened my eyes and inspired me to pursue this horrible path: the Saturday Night Live cast of the late 80s to mid-90s.
I’m not sure why it shocked me, or even more so upset me, but Reece -...
October 2010
4 posts
5 tags
Still Living In "Nebraska"
A stark portrait of a forgotten people, painted in rust on a crumbling canvas, Nebraska — Bruce Springsteen’s seminal acoustic album — told the stories of a left-behind working class, scratching and clawing in a cold, darkening world. As I listened to its quiet, twang and gravel tracks on the subway today, I looked around and realized that, while the album was recorded nearly 30 years...
I’ve been disappointed by the weak negotiating from the White House (you don’t have to start out with half a loaf) that started with so much momentum, and disgusted by the pathetic cowtowing to corporate greed from the Congressional Democrats, but Maher is right.
The right wing in this country is bat shit nuts. I don’t like to get all hyperbolic - that’s their job - but if...
WatchI’m not sure how much this home run really helped the city heal in the aftermath of September 11th, but I remember being a 15-year old kid screaming with joy when it happened. And, as a 24-year old kid, I found myself doing the exact same thing as I watched the video.
With the Mets changing management, I really hope baseball can mean this much again, both to a city and to a single fan,...
September 2010
3 posts
“The world is completely mad and careening and hurting itself more than it is...”
– Jonathan Ames, concluding his short Salon column on how he makes his TV show, Bored to Death.
As a lost writer in lost New York, I found this show spoke to me in ways no other program — comedy, drama or otherwise — has done. Add to that Jason Schwartzman, he of Max Fischer in Rushmore fame, and...
July 2010
2 posts
June 2010
1 post
Look What The Dog Dragged In
It’s funny, the way our personalized digital media so often begins to resemble how we act, and interact, in real life. Developers and strategists delight — that’s their goal: to create an open, widespread platform to bring people together in a massive, human-like community.
Still, it has its downsides, such as feeling socially awkward on your own blog, and uncomfortably writing an...
May 2010
2 posts
ned hepburn: Things That The Word 'Hipster' Could... →
People Who Keep Their Sunglasses On In Jamba Juice.
Not-Jocks.
It’s Basically A Dave Matthews Song But Played With A Detuned Guitar, Let’s Not Kid Around.
People That Look Like Vegans But Aren’t.
Oh My God, Ten Years Ago I Thought We Were All Normal Kids Who Liked Music That Wasn’t On The…
April 2010
2 posts
March 2010
3 posts
The History of Television Through the Pages of... →
This is my debut article at Gakwer. Let me know what you think. If you think it’s awesome.
“Television is going to be big, or it isn’t going to be at all.” The crack staff at Popular Science said this in 1944, and beyond the seeming obviousness of its either/or scenario, there’s a lot to think about here.
The Jetsons promised us flying cars and sentient robots...
Ted Nugent Is The Greatest Writer Ever →
This is the most insane thing I have ever read. The sheer psychosis that informs each of these thoughts, the ever-increasing insanity of each sentence, baffles and in some ways excites me more than anything I have ever seen.
Here are some highlights, but it HAS to be read in full:
Animals give me life. I like to eat them, ride them, pet them, wear them, grow them, watch them, and know in my...
I haven’t been here in a while, which is cool, because it meant the Lennon entry lived on at the top, the eternal headliner.
Two thoughts:
1. I’ve never had a mustache. In all my near 24 years, a mustache has never been on my face past completion of a shaving session. In the 80’s, that’d have been remarkable.
2. Cete: –noun a number of badgers together.
February 2010
15 posts
4 tags
Haven’t been writing here much, as I’ve been spending time writing satire and screenplay, and staying out all night at Bruce Springsteen cover band shows and Dave & Busters, but I thought I’d point this out:
Ex-Met Edgardo Alfonzo, who played with ex-Yomiuri Giant Hisanori Takahashi, likens Takahashi to Tom Glavine. Alfonzo said Takahashi throws 88 or 89 mph, tops out at 91...
WatchPretty funny. Well played.
If only we fought them with such tenacity on thing that actually matters, like jobs and healthcare policy, though.
Following President Obama’s surprise appearance at the White House press briefing, press secretary Robert Gibbs garnered laughter from the press corps by holding up his hand to reveal that he had written notes on his palm in black marker. ...
Singing Sinatra Can Get You Killed →
I submit this without comment, beyond the fact that sometimes, I think about how fucked up and backwards the United States is, and then I read things like this and realize it’s a shared trait amongst all mankind:
The authorities do not know exactly how many people have been killed warbling “My Way” in karaoke bars over the years in the Philippines, or how many fatal fights it has fueled....
Wall Street To Hold Telethon for Goldman CEO
Well, I’ve done it. I’ve taken down Wall Street with one swift stroke of the e-pen.
reallyseriousnews:
Reacting swiftly and with the compassion it is so often accused of lacking, Wall Street’s top CEO’s and bankers rallied to the aid Goldman Sachs’ CEO Lloyd Blankfein, announcing a weekend fundraising telethon for the industry trailblazer in the aftermath of his devastating 2009...
The Dada Manifesto
by Hugo Ball, 1916
mur takik (an excerpt):
I shall be reading poems that are meant to dispense with conventional language, no less, and to have done with it. Dada Johann Fuchsgang Goethe. Dada Stendhal. Dada Dalai Lama, Buddha, Bible, and Nietzsche. Dada m’dada. Dada mhm dada da. It’s a question of connections, and of loosening them up a bit to start with. I don’t want words...
Thinking of a Career Change
If this whole writer thing doesn’t work out, Facebook has some cool suggestions:
Senate Republicans Refuse To Call Deli
For about nine months, starting in early 2008, I ran a political satire site called ReallySeriousNews.com. As I graduated college and entered the real world, this was my pride and joy, and I loved it and took it seriously and worked my ass off on it. Then came the real world, and as President Obama got elected, I more or less shut down RSN.
Looking for another creative outlet, and still angry...
Dem. senators spent weekend with bank, energy,... →
I’m a Democrat, for lack of a better big party, not because I’m proud of the things many in my party do. I wonder how difficult it is to make promises from one side of your mouth and shove corporate cash-bought caviar in the other.
Twelve Democratic Senators spent last weekend in Miami Beach raising money from top lobbyists for oil, drug, and other corporate interests that they often...
“I’m not Grammy material. I hate that shit. It has nothing to do with rock ‘n’ roll. It only has to do with Hollywood, and it’s jive — a buncha people handin’ each other awards and talkin’ about how they made the best record … There is no best in music.”
- Neil Young, 1987
So Neil finally won one today, but it’s for art direction...
January 2010
52 posts
“Salinger had remarked that he was in this world but not of it. His body is gone but the family hopes that he is still with those he loves, whether they are religious or historical figures, personal friends or fictional characters.”
- Statement from JD Salinger’s literary representatives, upon his death.
RIP, JD. Thanks for making it okay to be an alienated teenager in an all too often...
“To Democrats, I would remind you that we still have the largest majority in decades, and the people expect us to solve some problems, not run for the hills. And if the Republican leadership is going to insist that sixty votes in the Senate are required to do any business at all in this town, then the responsibility to govern is now yours as well. Just saying no to everything may be good...
4 tags
Saving iObama
Idea: Steve Jobs should totally let President Obama unveil the Apple Tablet during his State of The Union speech tonight.
He can unveil it as a new stimulus package for media and retailers, and healthcare for nerds.
One requirement, though: Joe Lieberman can’t download any books. The app store keeps filibustering him.
So I heard Apple is coming out with this amazing new thing called a “book” today? And they invented a “TV” too? All hail glorious King Steve Jobs!*
*originally texted on my iPhone and transferred to the internet via MacBook Pro via Apple Network router. Ugh I am so cliche.
Teabagged! →
So, just hours after I make my Teabagger in Turmoil prediction, it seems the cup is off the saucer. Just as I had hoped, the rank and filers are beginning to feel that itchy corporate feeling on their noses, and they ain’t liking it.
A Tea Party convention billed as the coming together of the grass-roots groups that began sprouting up around the country a year ago is unraveling as...
“There are Sour Patch Kids… and Cabbage Patch Kids… What about...”